Breast cancer wasn’t on my radar, but it made me become a part of something bigger

At 38, I was diagnosed with stage 2, triple negative breast cancer.

Breast cancer wasn’t on my radar

I’d qualified as a Family and Systemic Psychotherapist in July, given birth to my beautiful baby girl in August, and then just 7 weeks later I was diagnosed.

I found the lump in the early hours of the morning whilst breastfeeding.

I initially shrugged it off as a blocked milk duct. But when a week later it was still there, painless and seemingly unchanging, I asked my husband what he thought. He assured me it was probably nothing, but that it was worth getting checked over.

I believe that finding the lump whilst breastfeeding, as well as my husband’s gentle but firm insistence that I seek medical advice, has saved my life

The months that followed have involved chemotherapy, immunotherapy, countless drugs to manage the side effects, a double mastectomy with a full node clearance and reconstruction, countless scans, blood tests, referrals, assessments and associated interventions.

The impact on my physical and mental health has been gruelling. But my approach to treatment from the beginning has been ‘give me everything you have, so I can give it everything I have’.

When I feel like I have nothing more to give and the darkness comes...

My family and friends have been shining lights

They’ve shown me love, care and support in ways that I could never have imagined and didn’t even know I needed.

I don’t underestimate the toll it’s taken on them, and there are no words to express how grateful I am to have them in my world. That’s the thing about cancer, it doesn’t just impact the individual diagnosed, it impacts on everyone who loves and cares about them.

My story of the last year was meant to be characterised by family cuddles, baby classes, mum friends and adventures as a family of 4. With nothing to worry about except each other. But cancer rewrote my story.

Cancer delivers blow after devastating blow, where the losses mount quickly

The loss of health, well-being, identity, confidence, the care-free feeling you don’t even realise you have when you believe tomorrow is guaranteed.

What I realised early on is that if I was going to navigate this journey with the best mind-set I could muster, I would need to shift my focus. I’d need to redirect my attention and energy to what’s in my control, instead of everything that felt like it was spinning out of my control.

Some days this meant taking the rest I needed and reading, going to therapy and getting outside. And sometimes it meant finding purpose and meaning in what was happening – like organising an Afternoon Tea for Breast Cancer Now.

Breast Cancer Now are a lifeline

When you’re given a diagnosis of cancer, you’re catapulted into a new world that’s filled with language you don’t understand and decisions you never thought you’d have to make.

Breast Cancer Now offers clear, accessible, evidence-based resources. They provide support not only to the person who has been diagnosed, but also to the people that love them.

Hosting an Afternoon Tea was a real highlight! 

I decided to host my tea in September, which felt poignant as it was the month I was diagnosed a year earlier.

Planning started in May and by August, I’d booked the Town Hall, had a team of volunteers, booked a band and had been shown a lot of generosity.

Due to the capacity of my venue, I decided to sell tickets in advance. With the ticket, people could have as much tea, coffee, cake, sandwiches and fun as they wanted. As well as live music!

I’m so proud and humbled to share that, by coming together we raised not only awareness, but over £5000 for Breast Cancer Now!

My hope is that one day…

In the not-too-distant future, when someone has to hear the words “it’s breast cancer”, they’re not filled with fear, but with hope. Hope, because people like us came together, donated and raised awareness.

The kindness and generosity generated through the tea will ripple out of that space, reaching people we may never meet and those that love them.

By being part of the Afternoon Tea campaign, we’re now part of something bigger than us.

We’re part of helping to create a future where the 55,000 people diagnosed with breast cancer every year in the UK will live and be supported to live well.

There aren’t words to express how I felt watching it all come together on the day

From feeling the support of my family and friends, to the boundless generosity of individuals and local businesses. Meeting new people, making new friends, and hearing people’s own personal stories – it was incredible.

We sold raffle tickets for £1 a ticket, as well as pin badges for a suggested £2. On the day, every single thing you could see, hear and eat had been donated in some form. Meaning that every single penny raised went directly to Breast Cancer Now!

My advice to anyone considering taking part is do it!

Your event can be whatever you want or need it to be. Whether it’s an event for your local community to enjoy, or a garden party with your loved ones. Every tea counts and makes a huge difference.