The younger women with secondaries event helped me feel less alone

Tell us about your primary diagnosis 

When I was 33, I found a small lump in my breast while in the shower. I was still occasionally breastfeeding my 1-year-old daughter, so I assumed it was a blocked milk duct. Still, I knew that I should visit my doctor if I found any changes, so I booked an appointment. 

I was surprised that my GP referred me to the breast centre at my local hospital. They did a biopsy, and I soon realised something was wrong. An oncologist told me they knew it was cancer.

I stayed calm at first, but when I thought about telling our 9-year-old son, I started crying. I realised my diagnosis would affect my whole family.

What treatment did you get?

I quickly started chemotherapy, followed by a mastectomy and then radiotherapy. The chemo made me lose all my hair. I also took hormone blockers for a couple of years, but the side effects were awful, and I had to stop.

Stopping treatment was a scary time for me. I suddenly felt alone, and all the support I had dropped away. 

How was life after treatment?

I went back to work part-time after my surgery. It helped my mental health, but I found it very tiring. I thought I’d go back to normal, but I was never the same person again. Cancer is a life changer.

I loved drawing as a kid, but rediscovered it when I was on chemo, because it was a cheap and safe thing to do. It's been so good for my mental health. Now I draw, paint and make mosaics. I encourage anyone with cancer to give it a go.

My oncologist told me that my life expectancy was low because my cancer was very fast-growing, and because I’d been diagnosed at a young age. I educated myself about the symptoms of secondary breast cancer and became very aware of any changes in my body. Any pain caused me a lot of anxiety and I felt like cancer stopped me from trusting my body.

When were you diagnosed with secondary breast cancer? 

When I was 41, I started getting mild back pain in the morning. I took paracetamol and it would go away. I also felt more tired than usual, but I put that down to being a carer for my husband.

I’d also been having some stomach issues. They did a CT scan and found that my stomach was fine. But they picked up something in my right lung and found some issues with my lymph nodes, so they recommended I have further scans.

After a full-body MRI and a PET CT scan, they found out that I had cancer in my spine, left hip and breastbone. The breast cancer had spread and was now incurable. But it can be treated. 

How are you now?

I’m responding well to oral chemotherapy. It means I have lower immunity, and it also causes fatigue. But I can still work in my part-time job as a learning support assistant in a college, which I love. 

I get a lot of pain in my back, neck and hip, but it’s manageable with painkillers. I can still look after my husband, kids and dog. I don’t look ill, and I live fairly normally, besides needing to rest a lot. 

It can feel isolating to have a serious illness at my age. I’m often the youngest patient on the chemo ward, and my life is very different to my friends.

What support have you had?

I looked online for support and found the Breast Cancer Now website, which was really helpful. I signed up for the 3 week online event for younger women with secondary breast cancer and I’m glad I did. It was a welcoming place where I could chat to other women who understood what I’m going through. 

What would you say to other young women with secondary breast cancer who are looking for support?

I’d recommend the event to anyone in my situation. The topics we discussed were interesting and I could ask questions of the nurse and other patients. I often think of questions that seem too minor to ask my oncologist, so this was really helpful for me. Other patients brought things up that had been on my mind too. 

I didn’t have to travel anywhere, which was really helpful for me as I’m often fatigued. I also connected with a woman who lives close to me, and we’ve met up for coffee. 

The course has helped me feel less alone. Breast Cancer Now puts us patients at the heart of what they do, which I’m really grateful for.