After finishing treatment for primary breast cancer, Jac began feeling a pressure in her chest. It was eventually diagnosed as metastatic breast cancer, which Jac has now been living with for 8 years.
I was worried about how I would tell my children
In 2006, I woke up one morning and felt a pea-sized lump in my right breast. For most of that day, I kept feeling my boob to check it wasn’t my imagination. I booked an appointment with my GP and, within a couple of days, was called to the local hospital.
First, a doctor did a physical examination. This was followed by an X-ray and ultrasound. Then, I was called back to the doctor for a core biopsy and told to wait. After an hour or so, the doctor called me back in and said I needed another biopsy as the first wasn’t good enough. I felt sick – it wasn’t a nice experience at all.
Throughout all this, I was with a very lovely friend who did her best to keep my mind from running wild. I had been divorced 5 years at that time, but had managed to build myself some great friendships which are still propping me up now.
By 8 o’clock that evening, I had my diagnosis. It was breast cancer.
My biggest fear was how I was going to tell my 3 boys.
I felt so relieved to have finished treatment
I had a , , and later . I tolerated the treatment quite well if I say so myself. Knowing I would come out the other side made it more bearable, and I just saw it as a means to an end.
I also saw the positives. I had such a fun experience trying on wigs. I felt so sorry for the wig lady; my friend and I were besides ourselves with laughter. In the end, I decided scarves were the route I’d take.
Eventually, I managed to get on with life, and was only gently reminded of breast cancer by my annual check-ups.
I was also taking , which I was told would be for 10 years. However, I struggled with it, as it seemed to exacerbate the enforced menopause that had been brought upon me (breast cancer really is the gift that just keeps giving!). Thankfully, I eventually found an alternative.
After the magic 5-year milestone, I switched to annual check-ups. I was so grateful for them; they were just the reassurance I needed to get on with things.
My secondary breast cancer was initially misdiagnosed
2 more years later, when doctors were talking about signing me off, I started feeling pressure in my chest. It felt like an elephant was sitting there. The sensation didn’t last long, and I had a check-up due shortly so made a mental note to mention it.
After a physical exam, the doctor said the sensation was common after the kind of treatment I’d had. He gave it a name - inflammation caused by radiotherapy - so I went home feeling confident that all was well.
But it started to get worse.
Soon, a small lump appeared on my sternum and the pain was unreal. I got girlfriends over for lunch to ask their opinion, and they urged me to go to my GP.
After a night of particularly bad pain, I got in to see a locum that same day. She was brilliant. She referred me to the orthopaedic hospital to the musculoskeletal department ASAP. From there, I was told I needed a biopsy, which happened a week later. A week after that, I got the results.
Sure enough, they had found breast cancer in my sternum, meaning it had become stage 4.
Even with metastatic cancer, I have been able to live well
I was drowning in a language I didn’t know. All I could think was, ‘I’m dying. It’s game over.’ I can’t tell you how lonely and isolated I felt.
I just wanted it out of my body, but the surgeon explained it couldn’t be removed as it would leave me with a poor quality of life. However, I could have radiotherapy – and it worked like magic. The pain disappeared and the lump vanished.
What I was left with afterwards was the label of stage 4 breast cancer. It hung over my head like a dreaded sword. My mental health suffered and I was referred to a counsellor.
Slowly, I came to terms with it, and was reassured by regular scans that showed everything was stable. For the next 6 years, I was living a full and happy life. At times, I even thought that my diagnosis couldn’t have been right.
In 2019, I began to notice my voice changed, but I shrugged it off thinking it was me using my voice more than I used to. Then, one day while chatting away on the phone at work, I felt a lump just above my collarbone. I was gripped by fear.
A scan showed the disease had progressed. Ok, I thought, I can cope with this – so long as I don’t need any more chemotherapy. Unfortunately, radiotherapy was not an option as I’d already had my quota. I needed 18 weekly rounds of .
I’m now on and , and I have regular scans. I’m so grateful for these relatively new drugs that have come along for all of us secondary breast cancer patients. My family and I still lurch from scan to scan, but I’m still here and have a reasonable quality of this precious life, so I’m not complaining.
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