I needed to develop super powers

Janine Brook was one of the models at our spectacular annual London fashion show on 2 November. Not only did Janine take to the catwalk with courage, but she also gave a moving speech to the audience about her approach to living with secondary breast cancer.

I was thrilled when I was chosen to be a model for Breast Cancer Care. The charity has been a huge part of my cancer ‘journey’ for over six years and I feel privileged to take part and to show my gratitude for the support I received. Breast Cancer Care has been like a good friend who's always there by my side when I have needed their support the most. I want to shout about how essential the services are for someone like me and to show everyone that six years on, and after continuous treatment, I am still alive and feeling vibrant, despite what lies ahead.

Noticing something wasn’t right

In 2010, I was 32. My husband Paul and I had recently had our beautiful baby girl Rosie, a little sister to Sophia aged three. The world really did feel full of promise and we were looking forward to our new life together as a young family.

But when Rosie was only eight months old, I felt a lump under my right breast. I put it down to recently having a baby but I decided to go to my GP, who wasn’t too concerned but still referred me to get it checked out. As soon as I saw the look on the face of the man who performed the ultrasound, I began to worry. Could I really have cancer? Waiting for the results was the longest week of my life. I was convinced it was bad news and I cried myself to sleep, not sharing my fears with anyone.

'Janine, you have breast cancer'

A week later, Paul and I went back to find out my results. I then heard the words that no one ever wants to hear, 'Janine, you have breast cancer.' We were both speechless – a rare occurrence for me – and Paul was so shocked he almost passed out. I will never forget that day – our world was turned upside down. This is the point when my life as I knew it changed in a direction which I had no influence over.

I had to now not be just a mum, wife, friend, sister and daughter but a cancer patient too. I needed to develop superpowers.

Trying to remain positive

I cut my hair to my shoulders in preparation to lose it. My appearance was changing and it was just the start of the next six years of adjustments. I tried to carry on with everyday activities, exercise and staying busy to help me to remain positive for my family, despite what cancer was throwing at me. 

I had a mastectomy and the new flat-sided me tried to look on the bright side. I recovered well, but as soon as I got back to my 'new normal’, wham! Chemo was injected to my veins whether I wanted it or not. What choice did I have with two young girls? I couldn’t be responsible for leaving them without a mummy. When my hair started to fall out, it was the tipping point for me. I just couldn’t brave shaving it off, it felt far too final. So out came wiggy. With the wig I felt much more like ‘me’.

Together we got through it

Trying to explain breast cancer to young children is a challenge. I received a book called Mummy’s Lump from Breast Cancer Care and slightly adapted the story to make it personal to our family. Sophia was very worried about her mummy not having any hair, but found comfort in the book and wore a bandanna to be just like me and the ‘mummy’ in the story.

Together we got through it and, a year after my diagnosis, I was given the all clear. This was possibly the best news after what I’d been through. However, it was hard to get back to normal and stop worrying that something else was wrong. I decided that I needed a new focus so retrained to become a lecturer in travel and tourism, a huge passion of mine. This was a really important step for me as I felt like the old Janine was emerging.

It was worse than I thought

And then a few months later, as I was enjoying my new career and slowly returning to the old me, enjoying quality family time with my two little girls, we were dealt another blow. Paul felt lumps in my left breast. Once again, panic set in. Surely it couldn’t be cancer? Not again! I went back to the breast institute and I was told it was nothing, but I was convinced something was wrong. After pushing for more tests, I was told that the cancer had spread, this time to my skin and other breast. It was worse than I originally thought – I had secondary breast cancer. I was heartbroken.

How could I go through cancer again? And this time it was incurable. I couldn’t believe it.

Living with secondary breast cancer

This is when my secondary breast cancer journey began. I use the word journey loosely as, being a travel and tourism lecturer, this word generally means a nice time.

But with the help of my wonderful family, friends and Breast Cancer Care, and the drugs too, I had all the support I needed to get through the dark times.

And so the treatment began again. I’ve since been on a few different drugs and a trial to keep the cancer at bay. But in July this year, I was told that the cancer had become resistant to my current drug and it was spreading. This confirmed our worst fears. Cancer doesn’t just affect those going through it; it also has a huge impact on family and friends. Paul was devastated by my diagnosis and told me that he found it very hard to think of any positive thoughts: 'You try your best to carry on as normal, but the fear is never far from your mind.' He struggled and, with a young family, you both constantly think of the inevitable fear of the next scan, as well as what the future holds.

I had a second mastectomy this summer and I am currently receiving radiotherapy. Unfortunately, there are no further targeted drugs left for me on the NHS.

I refuse to lose hope

I am scared but, in true Janine spirit, I remain optimistic that there will be options to enable me to live a little longer to be here for my beautiful little girls and see them grow up. Because what more reason do I need to help me get through this than that? I refuse to lose hope. I’d like to think that I am living with a secondary breast cancer diagnosis and grip life’s challenges and ride with them. It’s not an easy ride, but it’s MY ride. I can steer it in a different direction some of the time, and ride with it the rest.

My advice to others

Before I finish, I hope you don’t mind if I share some advice.

My first piece of advice to anyone facing a breast cancer diagnosis is to challenge everything, get to know what is right and wrong for you and be armed with information.

Breast Cancer Care has been here for me from day one. From receiving leaflets when I was first diagnosed, chatting to other young mums with breast cancer on the Forum and at the Younger Women Together weekends, and speaking with the nurses when I was worried about secondaries, their care and ongoing support has been invaluable.

The second piece of advice I would give, particularly to anyone with a secondary diagnosis, is to accept support and don’t face it alone.

I’d like to think I am Superwoman. But even Superwoman needs hold-in pants and some backup sometimes!

Are you living with secondary breast cancer? We were there for Janine and we're here for you too. Call our nurses free on 0808 800 6000 for care, support and information.