When Clare was told she had breast cancer and needed a mastectomy, she expected to be upset by it. After approaching her treatment with positivity, however, she now feels better than she ever did before.
I was still breastfeeding when I found the lump
I used to regularly check my breasts a couple of times a month when I was in the bath, and I never felt anything unusual. However, in May last year, a large lump came up out of nowhere - I could actually see it protruding from my skin.
Immediately, I thought, ‘What the hell is this?’ but as I was breastfeeding and on my period at the time, I decided to wait before doing anything. When it was still there 4 weeks later, I made a doctor’s appointment.
The doctor put it down to a blocked milk duct (which is what my husband and I thought it might be), but asked me if I wanted to be referred to the breast clinic, which I did.
Originally, the clinic thought it was a cyst. It was only after an ultrasound that they were more concerned, as the mass was solid and irregular in shape – plus they found another area they wanted to check.
I had a mammogram so they could get a closer look, then a biopsy.
I wasn’t bothered about the mastectomy: I just wanted the cancer gone
A week later, in July 2021, I was diagnosed with early stage invasive ductal carcinoma – though this was later changed to invasive lobular carcinoma after an MRI.
When I got the news, I wasn’t shocked. I think I expected to hear it.
Still, I kept thinking of my husband and my girls. The doctors told me it was treatable and that I would be ok – so I was relieved, but still emotional.
In contrast, when I found out I needed a mastectomy I felt nothing. It was weird: I thought I would be devastated, but I was fine. I just wanted the cancer gone.
I had the operation in September, then a second one in October for an axiliary node clearance. I breezed through them both with very little pain, and the recovery was easy.
When I was told that the surgery had removed all the cancer, I was elated! I would still need chemotherapy as a precaution (which I’m currently halfway through) as well as radiotherapy and tamoxifen, but I was so happy to hear that news.
I still feel sexy and confident
Throughout this experience, I have really embraced my body image and I love my body more than I ever did before.
When I looked in the mirror for the first time after my mastectomy, I said to myself: ‘It’s ok, you look good,’ and I haven’t looked back. In fact, seeing my reflection just shows me how far I’ve come, and that I’m still the same person I was before.
I still feel sexy, I still dress up – but now, I feel more confident.
I did initially have a bit of a shock with chemotherapy, as my hair came out in clumps and I didn’t know whether to leave it or shave it all off. Eventually, though, on my daughter’s 10th birthday, my husband shaved it for me... and I loved it!
I was worried I wouldn’t suit it, but instead it made me feel liberated, relaxed and in control.
Even when I’m out, I embrace the bald look. It doesn’t faze me at all.
Cancer is too serious to take seriously
Obviously, I never thought I would have cancer at 39 years old, but I have remained positive all the way through. People seem to think that I should be crying all the time, but I’ve been getting through it by making jokes. I think this mindset has helped me a lot.
Cancer is serious enough, so I’ve been trying not to take it too seriously. I’ve spray-painted my bald head pink, worn funny hats, made an ABBA video with my daughter while wearing a funny wig – you name it.
The things I used to take for granted or let bother me have disappeared, and I’m much more focused on things that bring me happiness.
I’ve also been fortunate to have enough to have support throughout this. My husband has been amazing and always tells me I’m beautiful, and our kids have adapted to the situation so well.
I want to show other people you can still look great after breast cancer
I’ve also made so many new friends through doing this, and have found other women who are in a similar situation to me.
Just before my 2nd operation, I created a fundraiser called ‘Going Topless for Breast Cancer’ in order to promote body confidence. I did a burlesque photoshoot with my hair and makeup done, and the pictures turned out amazing!
I wanted to raise awareness to help other people who were recently diagnosed, and showed off my mastectomy scar to prove that you can still look fantastic after breast cancer.
I raised £600 for Breast Cancer Now by doing this, and I don’t want to stop there! Having such excellent support has really helped me through this, and, at the same time, I know I’m doing something important by normalising mastectomies.
Touch, Look, Check
Checking your breasts only takes a few minutes and everyone will have their own way of touching and looking for changes. Whether it's in the bath, shower or before going to bed, checking for signs and symptoms is as easy as TLC. Check them - it could make all the difference.