I felt like I had let my daughters down

Telling my daughters was the hardest part

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2018.  I thought I was going to die. 

I felt like I had let my daughters down, and that they were going to be left without a mum. Telling them was the hardest part. They were both terrified, but hugged me and said "mum, you can do this". 

I had a lumpectomy and node biopsy in March, which showed that the cancer had started to spread. I went on to have a mastectomy and full node clearance in April. I chose to have an immediate reconstruction because I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope with being flat. 

In July, I had sepsis caused by my implant. I was petrified when I woke from the anaesthetic and had to look down and see that my reconstructed breast had gone. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for a while after that. 

My family came with me to my last radiotherapy session, and crowded around me so I could ring the bell. I was done with active treatment, but I felt low about how I looked. I met with a plastic surgeon to see if I was suitable for diep flap surgery. I was, so in March 2019 I had my fifth operation in just over a year. 

I’ve come through it all stronger

I cried happy tears when I woke up and saw my breasts again. My surgery restored my confidence, but I can completely understand why people choose not to go ahead with it. 

When I got the phone call telling me I had been chosen for The Show, it felt surreal. My daughters looked so proud when I told them. They think I’m the strongest person in the world. 

I’m so excited to walk down the catwalk with my head held high. My daughters have been positive from day one. Even though they were as frightened as me, they never once believed that I couldn’t get through it. I’ve come through it all stronger.