When Kit was initially diagnosed with secondary breast cancer at the age of 33, she was shocked. She explains why she refuses to let her cancer define her.
When Kit was initially diagnosed with secondary breast cancer at the age of 33, she was shocked. She explains why she refuses to let her cancer define her.
I didn’t have primary breast cancer
In November 2017, I was admitted to A&E feeling sick and barely able to move my left leg or back. They identified I had nearly fatal hypercalcemia (too much calcium in the blood). Tests to identify the cause revealed widespread cancer in my bones.
My official diagnosis was de novo (meaning I never had a primary diagnosis) ER+ HER2-: secondary breast cancer with cancer in my breasts, spine, hips, pelvis and ribs (at least two of which had been mostly eaten by the disease).
I'd been feeling pain for a few weeks but thought it was a pulled muscle. When my back started hurting, it was the first symptom of cancer I had ever had. And it meant I was already incurable.
I felt guilty
I blamed myself. I was panicking and feeling guilty about how the news would impact my husband and friends.
Initially, I didn't respond well to treatments - which made things hard for everyone - but I was determined to get life back to "normal" as soon as possible.
I found out a year later that I have PTEN Hamartoma Tumour Syndrome (aka Cowden Syndrome): a genetic condition making me at higher risk of developing certain types of cancer.
I don’t want cancer take over my life
About 16 months after receiving my diagnosis, while I was at work, we were joking over lunch about what our superhero names would be. The formula we agreed upon was your key attribute followed by your gender.
I have to admit that I was struggling. When my turn came up, I wasn’t sure what to say. After all what is the key thing about me?
I’m sad to say my first thought was cancer. For over two years, cancer has been a massive part of my life.
This made me angry at myself. Yes, I have secondary breast cancer. Yes, cancer is taking my life away from me. But I realised I really don’t want it to take over my life. Cancer is stealing my future and my health. I can’t let it have everything. I am so much more than this disease.
In reality, I am...
A feminist (a fairly radical feminist as it happens - and proud of it).
A football fan. I love AFC Rushden and Diamonds.
An animal lover. Very few things make me happier than visiting animal sanctuaries.
Obsessed with politics. I studied International Relations at Aberystwyth University and loved it. I care about what is happening in the world and want the world to be a better place.
A wife. I love my husband more than anything in this world. We met when I was 18. Married when I was 22.
So yes, cancer is a big thing about me. But it isn’t the only thing about me as I realised after that discussion – probably for the first time since my diagnosis. I am me. I’m cool with that.
I forgot what makes me who I am
I know this mini revelation of mine might seem insignificant or stupid, but I’d been so busy adapting to being a cancer patient that I forgot to just be Kit. I forgot to remember the things that make me who I am. I forgot that there are things cancer can never take from me. Or if it can take them, it should be prepared to work really hard to do so!
To keep hold of me, I intend to try and follow four steps.
I aim to tweet at least one thing a day that isn’t cancer-related.
I will aim to do at least one fun thing every weekend. Either go to a football game or visit an animal sanctuary.
I will get involved with trying to make the world a better place. Not sure how yet. But I have a voice and need to use it in the time I have.
I will try and be kind to someone every day, to see if I can improve their world just a little, even if just for a minute.
I will aim to stick to these resolutions. But, I will be kind to myself if I can’t for any reason. Life is just too short to do anything else!
I want to live life as much as possible
I work full time, exercise, enjoy my hobbies and live life as actively as possible. But to this day I'm furious I'm going to die. More research and access to new and innovative treatments is desperately needed for those of us who are #BusyLivingWithMets. That's why I support research funding charities and the patient advocacy group METUP UK.
And I’m still living. As of January 2020, I've started the oral chemotherapy drug Capecitabine. Throughout the two years of treatments, I've had a monthly Zoladex (goserelin) injection to induce menopause. I also have monthly denosumab to strengthen my bones to try and slow down my cancer.
Incidentally, the superhero name I went with? Stubborn Female.
You can read more from Kit on her blog, Kit vs Cancer.
If you have questions about secondary breast cancer and want to know more, we have plenty of resources.