Cancer made me realise you can't sit around and wait

I didn’t think anything was wrong

In April 2014, I was invited to have a routine mammogram. I had noticed a lump on my left breast but I never thought something else might be wrong.

After my mammogram the nurse said the consultant wanted to look at my right side too.

I thought it was going to be a quick in-and-out job, but I wasn’t allowed to go home. Not long after, I was told I had breast cancer.

I was knocked back. Then, I asked them to tell me what to do. I wanted my next steps laid out as clearly as possible.

I wanted to feel in charge

I felt totally disconnected from what was happening. I went home and did a lot of research. I wanted to feel in charge of the situation and know all my options.

My treatment was a lumpectomy followed by six weeks of radiotherapy. It was an intense, short experience and I’ve just finished taking tamoxifen after five years.

The operation recovery was quick. Before the surgery, I got a personal trainer as I wanted to make sure I was in top physical health. I’m a dancer and a teacher, so I knew it was important to look after myself. Six weeks after my surgery, I went dancing in the south of France, then came back to start my radiotherapy.

Most of my radiotherapy session were in the late afternoon. I would go to work, have lunch, and then head to the hospital. I’d then get the boat home to Greenwich to avoid getting crushed on the tube!

I had to speak up for what I wanted

During treatment I felt like I was watching a film of my life. It was like I wasn’t there. My friend taught me how to meditate while I was on the radiotherapy bed, so I could completely disassociate from what was happening.

The treatment burnt the skin on my armpit where I had a lymph node removed and my nipple lost pigment and went a different colour.

The breast swelled and was tender, but I didn’t let it stop me from doing what I usually do. I was determined in how I wanted my treatment to go.

I didn’t think my healthcare team were very supportive. They had their own view of when was the best time to have my treatment. For example, I was told my treatment should be done in the morning, even though it suited me to have it in the afternoon. I wanted my surgery to be done in half-term so I could miss less work, which they didn’t get at first.

I managed to get what I wanted but I had to speak up to say why it was important to me.

I’m not going to waste any more time

Most of my family have a medical background. Although my mum was devastated, breast cancer never felt taboo and we were able to talk about my diagnosis.

My daughter, Samira, was 17 when I was diagnosed and didn’t really show outwardly if she was upset. However, I think my breast cancer had an impact on her.

My outlook on life completely changed. It made me realise that you can’t sit around and wait. I got rid of negative energies and people in my life. I bought an apartment in Tenerife on the second anniversary of my surgery. On the fourth anniversary, Samira went into the TV programme Love Island. I encouraged her to go on the show. Breast cancer taught me to take every opportunity you can and not waste any time you have. I want her to do the same.

Black Women Rising creates positivity

When Leanne Pero invited me to be a part of the Black Women Rising project, I was thrilled. I first met her through her work for the Movement Factory when I was running a dance and drama department.

I had worked with Leanne in the past. We stayed in touch, and when I found out she was diagnosed with breast cancer too, I reached out.

I think the project shows some much-needed positive images of cancer. You don’t always look like someone on the back of a tobacco packet. We all felt glamorous and strong, and I think the photographs showed that.

I feel lucky

I care so much less about things than I did before. I’ll go topless on the beach now, even after my surgery. I don’t care what people think of me.

I feel lucky to be alive and living the way I am five years on from my breast cancer diagnosis. I could feel awful, but I’m glad I took the steps I did to keep my fitness and my sense of self throughout my treatment.